The Post Where I Introduce Myself To The Internet

So. This is a blog, huh? You're all going to come rushing to read my innermost thoughts? Hmm. Am I narcissistic enough to have a blog? Am I even going to keep up with it? I tend to forget projects mere moments after I begin them. Can I stop checking my damn facebook page long enough to even type an entire paragraph? Yes, apparently so. Probably not. Certainly not- if I can't sit through a red light without checking facebook, how in the hell could I ever expect to avoid it for more than 15 seconds when the computer is right here on my lap?

Let's just get all the “fine print” out of the way now. I curse. Excessively and unapologetically. All of my favorite words would make George Carlin give me a standing ovation. I have 3 children who I love more than anything. But they get on my nerves from time to time and I have no problem being very vocal about that. No matter how many times I say I want to lock them in the garage- I won't do it. I promise. Don't call CSB- they're fine.

I over use parethesis. My favorite way to end a thought? “...” I love this little dashy thing “-” too. These things all will eventually make you want to hunt me down and beat me to death with a grammar book. I am sorry for this, but it's like an illness, I can't control it.

There are millions of blogs out there and we here at “Stop Coloring On Your Sandwich!” are ever so grateful you've chosen us to be your blog. Literally millions of blogs. All with people who think they are the most funny, most intelligent or just generally The Shit and therefore must share their wit, wisdom, ect. With the rest of us peons. So why would I feel the need to add to that? What could I possibly have to add that nobody else has already said? The short answer is- Nothing. I have nothing new/special/interesting to add. Apparently however I just adore myself so much I have to share ME with all of you. You're welcome.